You
might choose to have just one mentor, but you should consider adding
more. Instead of seeking out one advisor, expand
your network to include several of diverse ethnicities and backgrounds
that can provide support and wisdom in a variety of areas of expertise.
If you have a mentor from a different culture or of the opposite sex,
take the opportunity to see things from a new perspective. Learn about
his or her culture, and ask if they can provide unique insight on any
business-related challenges they have overcome.
Be a Great Mentee
Once you
begin a mentorship, make it meaningful for yourself and your mentor.
While the benefits of a mentorship flow as a give and take, it’s really
up to you to make the relationship worthwhile. You must take
responsibility for your growth and stand out as a great mentee.
Your mentorship will be a better experience if you are
prepared. Work with your mentor to develop a structured learning plan.
Discuss your specific objectives, their achievability, and evaluation
criteria. Together, determine the accomplishments, duties, projects, or
competencies that you will need to execute or learn, as well as the
frequency and style of interaction. Create a schedule and then put the
plan in writing. This will help you manage each other’s expectations
and ensure that you are both on the same page during your mentorship.
Although you
intend to gain experience, increase your knowledge, and be exposed to
new resources through your mentor, you must also think about what you
have to offer. This is your time to shine. Ask how you can help, apply
your skills wherever possible, and share your ideas.
Alvin Gay
(left),
CEO and managing partner, Footsteps Group (footstepsgroup.com) said, “At
the office, I’m very busy and moving at lightning speed. If my mentee is
able to see what’s needed and has learned how to step in to help me, it
just makes things a lot easier. In turn, it affords me more time to
focus extra attention on their development.”
In addition
to the skills you learn and bring to the experience, there are certain
characteristics that are critical to your success. It’s important to be
professional, maintain confidentiality regarding both professional and
personal matters, and respect your mentor and his or her time. You can
demonstrate how earnest you are by projecting a positive attitude,
receiving criticism well, accepting responsibility and accountability
for your work, and being punctual for all meetings.
As you become
more familiar with your mentor, work hard to maintain the relationship.
Remember that your mentor is not just an advisor; he or she is a human
being with a life beyond the office. Show a genuine desire in getting
to know them as a person, initiate reasonably frequent contact as
mutually agreed upon, notice and address their interests, and most
importantly, express appreciation for your mentor’s help. Your
mentorship is an opportunity for you to forge what could become a
lifelong bond.
Moving On
A
mentorship can span a lifetime or may only last for a limited season in
time. Some result in a productive and impactful experience that evolves
into a lasting friendship. Others might simply run their course, and
some may even hit a few snags that raise the red flag that it’s time to
move on.
There are common pitfalls that may or may not occur during your
mentorship. However, you need to know how to recognize and react to
unexpected problems should they arise. You know your mentorship is not
working if you often feel disrespected, devalued, experience
communication problems, lack passion or basic competency for the work,
or are not making a solid connection with your mentor. Try having an
honest and open conversation with your mentor about your concerns, but
if that doesn’t work it may be time to go your separate ways.
When it’s time to discontinue a difficult mentorship, don’t burn your
bridges. Make your exit in the most respectful manner possible. That
means expressing your gratitude and having the courtesy to notify your
mentor in advance. He or she will appreciate your grace and it will
allow them to smoothly reassign the projects you were managing to
someone else.
Once you’ve reached the end of a positive mentorship, make sure you
give your mentor their props. He or she has invested a great deal of
their time, teaching, and resources preparing you to take your game to
the next level. It’s time to honor that.
You can show your appreciation by taking your mentor out to lunch or
dinner, bringing a thoughtful gift, and sharing the key learnings that
have resonated with you. This is a great way to bring closure to the
experience, or to express your interest in continuing the friendship.
It also makes your mentor feel respected and lets them know that they’ve
made a difference – something they would appreciate.
Pay it Forward by Giving Back
While you are receiving the
benefits of a great mentorship, share the lessons you learn with
others. Never forget what it’s like to need and then find a special,
generous person committed to helping you become a better person by
providing you with the tools to realize your dreams. Just like you,
there are countless young men and women who have aspirations and need a
guide they can trust to show them how to reach their goals. Now, you
have the opportunity to be the angel on someone else’s shoulder. This
is the circle of support that is needed to help the community grow
stronger.
Christopher D. Cathcart
(left), president and founder of OneDiaspora Group
(onediaspora.com),
reflected, “I’ll never forget my first
mentor. He was dedicated and always took the time to answer my
questions or show me the way to do things in the business world. Just
having someone care about my development so much and consistently be
there for me changed my life. We are still friends today, mentoring
each other. And I’ve answered the call to become a mentor, too. It’s
one of the most rewarding choices I’ve ever made.”
Making
the decision to become a mentor is an admirable way to come full circle
and give back. You have the power to take a young person under your
wing and make a difference in their future. And there are benefits for
you. Through your dedication you will improve your communication and
leadership skills, contribute to the growth and development of your
community, and enjoy the personal satisfaction of helping create a
brighter future for others.
As you
enter the cycle of learning and teaching be prepared for some of the
greatest experiences of your life. And as you move forward in your
profession, remember to bring a young person along. I know for sure that
as you bless others, you will be blessed right back.
10 MENTORING RESOURCES
Check out these great sites
for information about finding or becoming a mentor:
-
ESSENCE Cares
essence.com/essence/emf/essencecares
-
Mentor
mentoring.org
-
The Stay Strong Foundation
thestaystrongfoundation.com
-
Big Brothers Big Sisters
bbs.org
-
100 Black Men of America, Inc.
100blackmen.org
-
The Links, Incorporated
linksinc.org
-
National Urban League
nul.org/educationandyouth
-
National Coalition of 100 Black Women
ncbw.org
-
NAACP
naacp.org/programs/youth
-
MANifest Your Destiny Foundation
manifestyourdestiny.net
Shanene Pinder, founder of Shanene Pinder, LLC, a writing and editing
services company, is co-authoring a book about mentoring with Terrie M.
Williams. She holds a B.A. in Communications from The City College of
New York and lives in New York City.
Terrie M. Williams
(left),
successful entrepreneur, inspirational author, mentor, and founder of
The Stay Strong Foundation (terriewilliams.com), said, “Having mentored
countless youth over the years, I always appreciate it when a young
person who approaches me for a mentorship comes prepared with a game
plan of what they hope to learn and are clear about their objectives.
It is not necessarily required, but that extra effort helps me help them
by enabling me to provide more strategic guidance, and it results in a
more successful experience.”